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An important step in grieving is expressing emotions that may accompany death: Anger, guilt, fear, sorrow, and depression. A funeral gives mourners a time and place to express those feelings. Funerals stimulate mourners to talk about the deceased, one of the first steps toward accepting the death. The funeral brings together a community of family and friends who, by supporting each other, can help themselves through a difficult time. Just as we have rituals for other passages of life, such as graduations and weddings, we need a ritual for death - one of the most significant of all passages. Funerals don't just recognize that a life has ended; they recognize that a life was lived. The funeral ritual also helps the survivors to heal emotionally. When someone we love dies, we experience grief, which though it hurts, is not something to avoid. Grief is part of the healing process that allows us to seperate ourselves from the deceased person and go on with our lives. To resolve their grief, mourners need to accept the reality of death not only on an intellectual level, but on an emotional level as well. It is for this reason that the traditional funeral is usually preceded by an open-casket visitation period. This may seem unnecessary; but many grief experts say that nothing helps one accept the reality of death as much as seeing the deceased person. For these reasons, it is important that families choose the kind of funeral and disposition most meaningful to them and most appropriate for the deceased.
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Basically, pre-planning is the process of recording the decisions involved with a final arrangement before the death actually occurs. This may be done very simply, or you may provide much detail about your wishes. You may choose to pre-pay your final expenses, or just keep your information on file at the funeral home at no cost to you. Pre-planning allows the open discussion of all the options available to you when there is not the emotional stress of a recent death. This enables you to make informed and rational decisions. Pre-planning your funeral provides peace of mind and can help to ease the emotional burden on your loved ones at the time of loss. It allows you to communicate your wishes to your family by recording your information and preferences. By pre-planning or arranging your funeral, you make a very difficult time much easier for your loved ones. Many people struggle with questions like "What would Mom have wanted?" or "Did Dad want cremation or burial?" By pre-planning your funeral, you answer those questions for your family. You should also consider involving your family in the pre-planning process because when a death occurs, it will be their responsibility to carry out your wishes. A good funeral plan is one that meets the needs and circumstances of the survivors as well as those of the decedent.
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Cremation is a process in which intense heat is used to transform the body back to its basic elements. The body, enclosed in a container approved for cremation, is placed in a cremation chamber. The soft tissue is vaporized. What remains is not ashes, but bone fragments weighing from three to nine pounds on average. This is what is contained in the cremation urn. Funeral homes often engage the services of a local crematory. Crematories provide the actual cremation with reverence and dignity. Crematories are regulated and inspected by state and federal agencies. Cremation is just one form of preparing the body for final disposition. Cremation procedures include filling out the death certificate and all other official documents. Cremation does not take the place of customary funeral services; it's merely another form of final disposition. Funeral services are the way we, the living, share our grief, acknowledge the contributions the deceased has made to our lives, and prepare ourselves for going on with life. |
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